Supernatural funny quotes

“What kind of a house doesn't have salt? Low sodium freaks!”

“I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.”

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole.”

"Pudding!

“I hate procedural cop shows”

Dean: “Calm down? I am wearing sunglasses at night! You know who does that? No-talent douchebags! I hate this game! I hate that we're in a procedural cop show, and you want to know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows! There's like three hundred of them on television, they're all the freakin' same."

“I have genital herpes.”

“There are two things I know for certain. One: Bert and Ernie are gay. Two: you are not gonna die a virgin, not on my watch.”

"Last time you zapped me someplace, I didn't poop for a week.

"Today you will have the honor of playing one of the greatest games ever invented. A game of skill, agility, cunning. A game with one simple rule. Dodge."

"On Thursdays, we're teddy bear doctors."

“We hunt monsters”

Dean: “That is exactly why our lives suck. I mean, come on, we hunt monsters! What the hell? I mean, normal people, they see a monster, and they run. But not us, no, no, no, we search out things that want to kill us. Or eat us! You know who does that? Crazy people! We are insane! You know, and then there's the bad diner food and then the skeevy motel rooms and then the truck-stop waitress with the bizarre rash. I mean, who wants this life, Sam? Seriously? Do you actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day, every single day? I don't think so! I mean, I drive too fast. And I listen to the same five albums over and over and over again, and I sing along. I'm annoying, I know that. And you, you're gassy! You eat half a burrito, and you get toxic! I mean, you know what? You can forget it. Stay away from me Sam, OK? Because I am done with it. I'm done with the monsters and the hellhounds and the ghost sickness and the damn apocalypse. I'm out. I'm done. Quit."

“Oh, I'm not carrying that. It could go off. I'll man the flashlight.”

“Being really, really childish”

Sam and Dean (in unison): “Yeah right. Nice guess. It wasn't guess. Right, you're a mind reader. Cut it out Sam. Sam! You think you're being funny but you're being really, really childish. Sam Winchester wears make-up. Sam Winchester cries his way through sex. Sam Winchesters keeps a ruler by the bed and every morning when he wakes up … OK, enough!"

“Dude, could you be more gay? Don’t answer that.”

“I’m Batman!”

“Snow White? I saw that movie. The porn version anyway. There was this wicked Stepmother. Woo, she was wicked.”

“I lost my shoe.”

"They made me slow dance"

"Why do these people assume we're gay?"

“My name is Dean Winchester. I ‘m an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach and frisky women. And I did not kill anyone.”

"Hey, see if they've got any pie. Bring me some pie. I love me some pie."